What'll You Do When You're Done Dancing?

Hey everybody! I'm sorry I took some time off from my blog. I just did a 24- page Psych research paper and I did so much writing, typing, and computer work that afterwards I cringed every time I glanced at my laptop. Yes, I go to college, and I am sick of guys at the club always saying I'm lying. Doesn't that piss you off? Its some gigantic stereotype that dancers lie about going to school. I don't think I've ever met a dancer who has been untruthful about that, and if you're not going to school that's just more conversation material. You can tell your customer that you're not in school, but want to soon. State what you would like to study, and express that for now your having fun and saving money as a dancer. If you do lie about school by telling guys that you need tuition help or need to pay off loans...that's a lame hustle. Its called the sympathy hustle which I think is so unfun. I did know a girl who lied about having kids and she would tell a guy that her kid is sick, or shes a single mom. Nobody goes to a club to hear a sob story. Even if it is true, save it. Just try to have a good time with your customers, and they'll return to you for a great club experience.

With that said, my topic here is the future.

I had an awful glimpse into the future of an EX-dancer when I got pregnant with my daughter. I stopped dancing before I started to show, then stayed home for a year after the birth, so about two years. Within this time, my body was changing I had to instantly learn how to be frugal and live off my guy, which blows when you're used to financial independence. I moved to a different city, so I didn't have friends like in my dancing city. At one point I considered not going back to dancing. When my daughter was six months I got a job working at CVS, granted I worked as a pharmacy tech, but I still felt so insignificant, like a cheap $10.50/hr worker bee. Especially, when I saw my paychecks being just $350 for a full time week! That would have been one nights work or less for me. It wasn't worth leaving my daughter most of her waking hours 10am-7pm. Be there to get her up, and get home to put her to sleep. Plus I had no excitement in my life. I was depressed, I felt like I was on a hamster wheel, and weeks would go by so fast, not a good fast, but more like a "Before I know it I'm gonna wake up and be middle aged and this will be all I've amounted to" kind of fast. Something was missing. I thought, "So this is life after dancing without setting up for the future...WHOOPS!".

I started to mentally kick myself in the ass for all those times I had a few grand in my hand and I spent it on clothes or shoes, or anything besides school. In retrospect, I only had to sacrifice one shopping spree a semester to pay for tuition. So I tried to do school without dancing, the good old fashioned way and it sucked big time. Long story short, I am back dancing not just for my future, and my education, but for my SANITY. Dancing diffused a lot of financial problems that my guy and I would fight about. I now have plenty of girl friends in my second new city, and I'm back to my vibrant self. I am only 24 so all this happened in a short amount of time. Seriously ladies, I had to learn the hard way. Some don't experience this until they are too old to go back to dancing!! Imagine. I mean I really want you to imagine that for some off the wall reason you could now longer dance. How would you survive? Could you handle a low paying job? Consider this a wake up call, and think twice when you got some cash...someday you might kick yourself in the ass...

Peek Into a Dancer's Bag

Warning!: This post is going to be a little graphic. Newbies! Don't forget to stay fresh to death. Feminine Deodorant, along with baby wipes, are the biggest must- haves of all. Experienced dancers already know this. In the beginning, I had no real guidance from any other dancers. Everything I learned was acquired by observation, or trial and error. I didn't even know of this product, and I constantly worried about my "freshness". This was god-send for me because it gave me confidence, and piece of mind. I don't recommend the "baby powder" scented spray cuz I used it once and when I was doing some floorwork near a guy he said VERY loudly,"Whoa! You smell like a baby!" hahaha I didn't know whether to laugh or be offended, so I laughed outwardly and was mildly embarrassed inwardly. Try using the floral, or tropical scented sprays. Another thing that was tricky for me was working during "that time of the month". Once I cut a tampon string, inserted it, then a few hours later, I COULD NOT find it anywhere. It was as if it was lost in some type of vaginal abyss. It was like WAAY in there. So I panicked, payed $50 to leave early, and went home to continue my "search". After that experience I never cut the strings anymore. I think it is much easier to insert the tampon and the string, because it simplifies the removal process. On the topic of hygiene, remember to stay fully shaved from the neck down. Hair in the nether-regions can be how you like as long as its not poppin' out to say, "Hello!" from your g string. For razor burns I just use bikini zone gel. It stings like a mofo, and it'll make you wish you weren't born for a few seconds, but it allows you to shave your bikini area daily with little to no burns.

Do You Really Care?

I have pondered this many times: Do you really care if a guy that comes to the club leaves smelling of your perfume, or having a little bit of makeup on his clothes? OK, I DON'T leave kiss marks, but the picture is just for effect. I bought Abercrombie & Fitch Fierce men's cologne for myself simply because I like the smell. I put it on at work and one girl said," Oh, that's a good idea to wear men's cologne so customers won't go home smelling like a stripper!" I didn't even think of that. That got me thinking about girls at work who care about what happens to a guy after he leaves the club. Sure, its respectful, and might secure you a regular, but does it even concern you? A man that has a lady at home while hes going to the clubs is gonna be going no matter what the consequences are. Is it worth the added stress of having to worry about how makeup might rub off or how much perfume you can use? NO. Analogy: When I worked at a coffee shop did I care about how the caffeine or calories of the drink effected the customer after he drank it? No. I just made sure that he had a damn good latte, and knew that if he wanted a good cup o' joe he knew who could deliver...ME. Any man that walks through the club doors knows what he's getting himself into.

"How Much Money Do You Make a Night?"

This is a question that I am asked over and over again anytime I tell people what I do for a living. Its primarily asked by the women I meet, because I don't tell men I meet that I dance. It just prompts creepy stares and once a guy knows your a stripper its like a license to be vulgar and disrespectful towards you. Thats just from my experiences. If you like that kind of attention thats your choice. Anyways, I think its adorable when women of all shapes and sizes ask me this because I can always detect a bit of curiosity, and excitement in their voices. I am upfront and I never try to make myself seem better than I really am. I tell them that sometimes I leave OWING money. There are nights where I am just not in the groove and I'll honestly sit backstage most of the time playing Yhatzee on my phone instead of hustling. Then there are nights where I leave with $1200 or more in my pocket. It just depends on my mood, motivation, and the atmosphere of the club. This is something I had no idea about until like 3 months into my dancing career, but I pay the bouncers extra, or a small portion of my champagne room ( $20 to $40 depending), just to set me up with clients in the VIP. It is so awesome when you're on stage to have the DJ say, "Chanel, when you're done with your set I want you straight up to VIP". That means someone saw your show, the bouncer hinted at how good you are, and someone wants to meet you. Plus as much as I love the other girls, its a victory for the ego and it strengthens your position at the club as a dancer of power and importance. This technique also works because men want what they can't have. If they are aware that a man in the VIP section is wanting you, then its like a primal urge to fight the alpha male for the best female or at least test the waters to find out what the hype is about. Call me crazy, but I think of these kinds of things. It works! When I am out of VIP getting ready to go back onstage, sometimes I don't even make it as far as the dressing room before somebody wants a dance. Its like a lucrative chain of events. Find what works for you and stick with it.

Fake Eyelashes

You'd be amazed what fake eyelashes can do for your face. They aren't necessarily a must, but they definitely are a PLUS. A girl at my club wears fake lashes all day everyday, and once she came in without them and she just looked uummm...tired. When I apply them I just use my fingers instead of tweezers as I feel I have more control that way. I usually use KISS brand lashes, but any brand will work, even some dollar store lashes. Avoid super long, costumey ones with too much glitter and jazz. Just use the black ones medium in length. The real key here is thickness. On the red carpet, many stars will actually wear two or more pairs of lashes, but in our case just one pair will do. Make sure you get them as close to your real lashes as possible, and you can hide the seams with a smokey eye, or liquid liner for a cat- like effect.

Peek Into A Dancer's Bag

A lot of my beauty advice and recommended products will seem obvious and elementary to girls who already dance. I'm just gonna give those who aren't so familiar with this world some valuable tips that dancers know so well. A stripper has extensive knowledge on how to look good, and not JUST naked! Our minds are like vaults of beauty secrets and our brains must be picked! You'd be amazed by the wealth of advice you can receive. Ok, so my first recommended product is Sally Hansen Airbrush Legs! This can be used for all-over body coverage. It is an absolute lifesaver, especially if you have trouble spots where you deal with cellulite, stretch marks, and scars. This product does tend to rub off a bit on clothes though, so if you are dancing with a guy wearing light colors: BEWARE. I consider it a must- have. It will give you a bit of color also, which is very, super important. Never underestimate the power of a tan. A tan might be your most important tool in this industry. Tanned fat looks better than white fat...its a fact! Anyways, this product is definitely an important tool as a dancer. Always keep this in your bag.

I am an Open Book

Meaning, this is not just an online journal for me. If anybody reads this and has any questions, or comments on my blog, they can leave it as a comment. I actually encourage this. Ask me anything! Also, is anybody able to see my"follow" button? I prefer female followers, cuz I think the guys will just be creeps, but either way, I'm down for followers, question askers, and commenters!

Confidence

For a very long time, even though I had been doing it a while and got relatively comfortable with lap dances and customer interaction, stage performing freaked me out. On the outside, you would have no idea how nervous I was. When the DJ called my name that I would be 3 songs away, then 2, then 1...AHHH! I always got butterflies, and panicked behind the curtain til I was on. I looked cool as a cucumber, and did well. I just couldn't get over my nerves before the first song. After the first song I was fine, but the initial start up was scary and it happened constantly throughout my shift. I found my confidence when a beautiful Serbian dancer noticed my hands trembling behind the curtain as she was making her way offstage holding her top and tips inhand. She said "Do you always get this nervous?!" I said " Every time." She told me something that altered my whole way of thinking, and I use it in my daily life not solely in my dancing life. She replied, " You have to pretend that you are a superior being for the moment's sake. When you pass through those black curtains, you are a panther, that crowd is your prey, and you're gonna go out there and eat 'em up." Just the idea made me feel sexier, more devious and confident. Little bookstore nerd, transforming through black stage performance curtains to bare all and become the most majestic and sensual of predators, with a lust for pure attention and indulgence. I remember this when I wake up everyday, as a get dressed, and right before I take one deep breath to step out my front door. "You got this. You're a panther."

In the Beginning Part II

The day of my audition was a Tuesday at 12noon. I was so nervous that I felt like I was gonna barf. I had just purchased my 7" stripper heels that morning and had not even attempted to walk in them until I was getting ready backstage, bad idea. Regardless, I felt like a natural walking in those mini stilts. I wore a regular old bikini, which I don't recommend because it just looks cheap and unsexy, my hair was curled, makeup did just right, dash of perfume, and I was good to go. My first on stage experience, I had NO CLUE what I was doing. I had made a lot of friends backstage beforehand so a lot of other dancers were cheering me on giving me support. I feel really lucky that I had that support cuz I've seen new girls come in for an audition and get scoffed at by the other dancers. Competition is fierce, but overall the girls are really friendly. Friendly competition, you just spend a bit of time proving and establishing yourself. It takes some time for dancers to warm up to newbies. Anyways, I was so clueless that I didn't even bend down to get the tips from the customers surrounding the stage!! I thought it was like a movie where guys just throw money onstage, I didn't know I actually had to go real close to sexily get it from them. I'll admit it, in the beginning I was a HORRIBLE dancer. Over time I just watched what other girls did, slowed down my pace, felt the music, and liberated myself. I remember one time after I got offstage, one of my friends named "Miami" was like "That was beautiful, Rose, you just moved like water. I'm fucking speechless." You'll learn that compliments from other dancers are 1Million times more meaningful than compliments from men in this setting. From this point I got word from the house mom that I actually got the job! My life changed at this moment. Being a dancer is a lifestyle, it could be either really ghetto or really glamorous. From this moment it was VIP nights, loads of money (I quit my job at the bookstore!), lots of new friends in a strange new state, famous people, and fun! And it still is, which is what I love about dancing. I can't do it forever, but if only I could...

Stripper Names and Profit

I literally picked my first dancing name within about 2 seconds. The day I got hired, I was so pumped to make money that I stayed for the whole day shift AND night shift. When I got off the stage after my audition, the house mom said, "Ok, so, did you wanna go by your real name or... what name?" I hadn't even thought of a name! Even though I was thousands of miles away from my hometown and nobody was gonna catch me, I just could not use my real name, so I had to pick something. I blurted out, "Rose!". I think I watched Titanic at home a few days before, so the name must have been lodged in my subconscious. That name suited me. I actually made the most money with that name, but it might have just been because I was new and new girls make more. Soon after, I had been dancing for a while and I got bored with the name and my persona. I wanted to be more mysterious and sensual. It was at that point that I chose to be "Silhouette", and people called me "Silly" for short. I chose that name because I felt that I used to be such a meek person, then I became this whole other person at work. I felt like people were witnessing me bare all so candidly, yet they really weren't looking at the whole me. Hence, my new name. I made decent money as Silhouette, I had really steady customers, and I felt that this name made it easier for me to separate my private life and professional life. I have since changed my name to Chanel, or Lexi Chanel in whole, and my income has tripled. I feel that guys in clubs really prefer girls with cute, ordinary names. It is JUST MY OPINION that whimsical names like Apache, Candy, Passion, Sweety, even "Silhouette" are tacky, and not profitable. There was a girl I worked with named Sandra, who was the most beautiful, exotic girl I had ever seen. Sandra looked like a statue of Nefertiti brought to life, with golden skin, and long brown hair, and cat-like green eyes. She made the most money in the club, and I owe a lot of valuable advice to her. I asked her real name and it was a sexy, Colombian name. I asked her why she didn't go by that name, and she responded matter of factly, "Because its too hard to say, and too easy to forget. Pick a name like "Jenna", "Sascha", "Jessica", or " Tracy" and I promise you will make more money. Better yet, think porn star name and put two simple names together. You have to be a man's fantasy". These names just sound more high-end. A businessman walks into a club, and has money for a champagne room. The bouncer tells him, "I have two women that I really think you should meet. Who would you like me to bring up, Jessica Ann or Lolly Tops?" Which one sounds more approachable, and generalized for multiple admirers?

My Views On Exotic Dancing

I will do a "In the Beginning: Part Two" at a later time, mostly cuz I want to talk about something different. There are two types of dancers: those who flaunt their occupation, and those who conceal it. I want to start off by saying that it is your personal decision how you choose to include your friends, family, and general acquaintances in your professional life. My siblings know what I do, however, grandma and mama do not! You really must take into consideration that your profession may hurt your loved ones greatly, or they could be totally cool with it. You know your family, my advice here is, approach them and their questions with sensitivity. If it might hurt them you may choose to fib. I did. I said I was working as a cocktail waitress at a comedy club getting paid under the table. I had a friend that I danced with and she was from Russia. I asked her if her parents back home knew what she did, and she responded in the funniest little Russian accent, "Fuck no! If my mother knew this she would swim all the way across the ocean to beat my ass!" If you choose to be honest with your family, more power to you! Honesty is an awesome quality. I was watching Austin Powers Goldmember the other day, and one line stuck with me. I know its stupid to use an Austin Powers line as a valuable rule to live by, but here it is," You can spend your whole life trying to make your parents happy, but in the end, its all about what makes you happy, baby, yeah!"
Boyfriends are a different story. In a dancers world there are 3 types of boyfriends: those who are cool with your job, those who hate your job, and those who say they are cool with it but secretly hate it. I think I have number 3. When we were first dating he was OK with it, but slowly over the years, I think it starts to eat away at a guy.
The key to dancing is to make sure that you are comfortable with it. If you're not morally comfortable, you won't be confident, and if you're not confident you won't make any money, so its pointless. I don't feel that dancing takes anything from a woman, or a person for that matter. Its those bad apples that get us all in trouble with public opinion. I know so many girls in the industry that have the most genuine hearts, and best intentions. Exotic Dancers are natural dreamers. They might not be privileged in their past circumstances, but each girl I know has a passion, and an idea of where they want to be someday. The only problems with a lot of us is that we are compulsive, inconsistent, and frivolous financially. Exotic Dancing is legal! Don't ever let anybody make you feel like you are doing something that is illegal. Keep it classy ladies. Don't sell your goods to customers, thats nasty, and that IS illegal. Sell the idea of your goods. Overall, my view of exotic dancing is that it can provide the resources needed to reach a goal, though it may be taboo to your loved ones, it is important in life to do YOU.

In the Beginning

I guess the most logical way to start this off is by telling about how I came to be a dancer. I had recently moved to a new city halfway across the country after transferring my job as a barista in a cafe at a well-known book store. Little did I know that with that transfer came a pay cut by, like, 2 whole dollars. Thank you, lower cost of living! So there I was prepared for my finances with a set graph of what I needed to live, what I thought I was gonna have, and what I actually had being insubstantial. Bottom line, I was broke. I was eating microwavable oatmeal for breakfast,and lunch, and dinner was top ramen. During this time I actually lost a lot of weight, but I was thin to begin with, so it wasn't a good thing. One day, while I was having lunch (oatmeal) in the break room, I opened up a newspaper layed on the table. As I flipped through the pages I saw an add for a local club that said boldly, "Hiring for Waitstaff, and Dancers!". Now, I knew this was a great club because since I had moved to this city I continuously saw this club's name on taxis, and billboards, and I heard their commercials on the radio. I, also, had a friend that told me this club was top notch, and pretty hard to get into. I kept telling myself, "Its just waitressing!". Even though every bone in my body was trembling, and I felt like passing out, I took the bus to this club. I was just 19, and had never been in ANY club, let alone a topless club that served alcohol. I was dressed cute that day, and I never really get dressed up, so there were numerous things that made me a little nervous that day. When I walked in, I filled out an application, and I didn't know the date so I saw a guy in a black suit walking passed me and I thought to ask him. He must have thought that I looked pretty good, because he said" Are you applying for a dancing position? I'm one of the owners, I really think you should be a dancer". I replied, "No, well, I don't know, Uhmm, what does it take to be a dancer?" He told me, " You would make a great dancer, come in for an audition on Tuesday, but I can almost guarantee you got a job." The girls at the club were giving me some dirty looks, but I didn't mind. I was on cloud nine! This was so different, and concerning, but exciting. It was a mix of so many complicated emotions. To Be Continued....